What on earth am I thinking...

Do you ever question that the life you are living is real... that maybe you and the small amount of Christians in the world got it wrong?

It's a sad wrestle that we 'all' go through? I know I did for many years. And it is sad to see it in your friends who were once pumped for life of loving Jesus...

I think Tom Steller sums up the emotion well in this parallel from the Wizard of Oz:

Toto wanders behind the curtain, pulls the curtain open, and reveals the truth behind the great Wizard of Oz. The Wizard of Oz was a hoax. He was a kindly but pathetic old man without any special powers. He merely projected his face on to a giant screen and amplified his voice. What Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Lion, and the Tin Man, and I had hoped in turned out not to be real.

As a result of this movie I can specifically remember wondering for the first time in my life if God was a hoax. Maybe my priest, Father Winzerling, was a fraud, or perhaps he too was deceived. Maybe there was some mastermind who thought up religion and who created the Bible to fool naïve, desperate people. Maybe God wasn't real. Maybe there really wasn't a God at all, except the ones we could dream up in our imagination. What a frightening thought for a religious boy like me to have. Have you ever had those thoughts? Do you even wonder now sometimes if God exists—I mean really exists? Is God real, or is he a concoction of our wishful thinking. Are we just playing games here Sunday after Sunday? Sometimes, even since I have become a Christian, those thoughts enter my mind.

Steller also describes the perfect solution:

JESUS

"And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know shim who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life." 1 John 5:20