Men and tears...

This year a girl in my connect group shared with us her theory that "Tears prove there is a God", as there is no real need for them. Emotional tears are useless, purposeless function of the body that seems to have remained in our 'evolution. And for my friend she attributes that pure expression of emotion as a gift of God, a means to know that we were made for something more than black and white of life.

Tears now remind me of that there is a God and its a great comfort when I do cry. But tears in general remind me of the brokenness of this world, the need for redemption from the bondage of sin, corruption and decay in this world. Yet we don't just cry over the sad things, we cry tears of joy when babies are born, when people get married, when friends are healed, when the sun shines and the world sings, and when we see the merciful hand of God on our lives...

There seem to be different things that set us off in tears... for me tears come when I am overwhelmed by thoughts happy and sad, frustration with 'unanswered' prayers, when I am tired and run down, and especially driving in my car with music up load.

A journalist did a survey of the words "crying" and "tears" in a newspaper over a period of time. The most common causes of crying are low-level frustration or sad moments on TV. Other subjects worth crying over were:

• the deaths, births and illnesses of children; and of parents;
  
• cheating husbands; and violent ones;
  
• absent fathers;
  
• pedophilia;
  
• rape;
  
• adoption;
  
• the hell of school exams;
• remembering lost loves;
  
• retired guide dogs;
  
• accepting an award for acting;
  
• problems with builders; and
  
• onions.
  

Adults apparently also cry most frequently when they are alone, at home, between 7pm and 10pm, and women cry on average 64 times a year (more than once a week), men just 17 (more than once a month).

I find that really interesting that men do cry as much as 17 times a year. Most men I have spoken to about crying say that it is rare. Do you think it is wrong for men to cry? When we call men little girls, weak or a woose, I feel we trivialise their grief or sadness and say that there is no room for tears in manhood.

For women, we seem to much easily get worked up, cry for no reason or break down in hysteria - regularly. Not to diminish the emotions of women and the privilege to be a friend for my female friends when they cry, but it is a real privilege to witness a man cry.

I have had this privilege a number of times: at funerals, when a friend was missing his homeland and family, when a friend was on drugs, breaking up with a girl, at the end of a tough year, while battling depression, amidst physical pain, and in frustration by the inability to pray...

In the last 2 months or so, I have seen three grown men cry at church. It really moved me to see these men shed tears silently over a sermon, publicly when church family & partners in the gospel move overseas, quietly in response to a song and in conversation over their chronically ill sister. I felt honored when that guy cried in our conversation, that he was willing to share and express his emotions with family at church.

......

Who do you think of when you read that the Israelites 'cried out, and their desperate cry' (Ex2:23)?

How do you view men like David and Job who cry? (I do notice though that each instance of their crying does not always result in tears, but calling out to God in desperation)

Who longs for the day when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist any more—or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist.”?
(Revelation 21:4)